So happy to announce that I have been joined in my team by?
My name is Tiaan Roodt. Since 1988 I am involved as a spiritual coach and therapist with people. I have learned through the years that all of us are frequently visited by messengers. They come in all forms. Most of us try to eliminate them before they deliver their message. In the years I have learned in my own and the lives of others to decode these messages. These messages, irrespective of their content, always shine their spotlight on core issues or internal beliefs which we need to address in order to grow.
These beliefs end up becoming the printout of our lives. The world then becomes a mirror to us that we either embrace or fight. The path through this maze called life, is impossible and very difficult , when travelling alone and bruised. We need to embrace relationships because we are biologically wired to connect . And yes, through that very thing called relationships most of us had our fingers badly burnt, but it is also through relationships, that one will truly get healed.
I have over 20 years of consulting and training experience in different fields including addiction.
I am ordained as a Pastor in 1997. A Life Skills Trainer & Consultant in 1998. A Resilience Champion Course 2018 and PSYCH-K Facilitator 2018
As part of the therapeutic team in Claudia Roodt Consulting, my focus is –
To decode the messenger(s) which reveals our subconscious core beliefs and help you to rewrite those subconscious core beliefs and change the printout of your life.
In doing this we release the hold that trauma has on our lives and can embrace a healthy future which is not stuck in the past hurt.
I was challenged this week as to where my focus is – is it in the differences between others and myself and proving myself right at all cost? Or is it in recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other? I had to become very quiet within and then read the following quote – “The choices we are making to protect our beliefs and ourselves are leaving us disconnected, afraid and lonely”.
As people seek out the social settings they prefer – as they choose the group that makes them feel the most comfortable – our nation and globally we grow more segregated and the benefit that ought to come with having a variety of opinions, is lost to the righteousness that is the special entitlement of homogeneous groups.
We sort ourselves into like-minded groups in which we consume only facts that support our beliefs. This sorting leads us to make assumptions about the people around us, which in turn fuels disconnection. And our behavior always drives one of two stories – either connection or disconnection. As a social species our brain and biology have been shaped for connection and it matters. It is why we are also wired for belonging.
However never in the history has society been so “sorted”, lonely and disconnected. Why? FEAR. Fear of vulnerability, fear of getting hurt, fear of the pain of disconnection, fear of criticism and failure, fear of conflict, fear of not measuring up. FEAR.
Fear drives disconnection which leads to us becoming fractured, isolated and driven by our perceptions of not being enough. This prevents conversations, understanding, and leads to “I want to do this my way”, “I do not care about your opinion”, and eventually “I do not care about you”.
As fear hardens, it expands and becomes less of a protective barrier and more of a solidifying division. It forces its way down in the gaps and tears apart our social foundation, already weakened with those delicate cracks.
Our lack of tolerance for vulnerable, tough conversations is driving our self-sorting and disconnection. Thank you to my husband, who did not shy away on Thursday morning from such a vulnerable tough conversation which left me initially storming out of the house with the attitude of “I do not want to hear” but he hit the nail on the head in his caring compassionate way of doing – some of my behavior was filled with sorting people and not driving connection, which I so believe in.
How do we find our way back to each other? True belonging has no bunkers – We have to step out from behind the barricades of self-preservation and brave the wild – Brene Brown.
I have realised that I am inextricably connected as a human being to everyone else and if that is my focus – that my humanity is bound up in yours – we will move away from fear, isolation and can build healthy families, communities and society.
Probably one of the biggest stumbling blocks in true healing, is the frustration that so many other people want to have a say about your journey, your intended destination and the steps you need to take to get there. They want to tell you which steps to take, why you should, how you should and if they have their way, sometimes even take the steps for you. All well meant and with your best interest at heart. However then it is not your journey, you do not own it and do not become powerful.
The role of the therapist/friend/confidant/coach/family member is NOT to prescribe a list of steps to take. Their only role is a safe place/space through their presence and to really be a witness to your journey. What does it mean to be a safe space? My presence needs to make you feel safe. That is a tall order for some people because they only feel safe themselves when they have certain action steps to suggest or live by or give to someone to follow. Very few people can be safe with themselves with their own thoughts, their own journey, their own past dark spaces, their own loneliness, their own pain and just be with it – comfortable, without shame, without fear and most of all WITH COMPASSION for themselves for the journey they have travelled to integrate all their parts into their story. Like a woven tapestry.
My presence needs to first be with myself and my own story, my own healing, my own parts – dark and light – before I can be a healing presence to you. Before I will be able to provide you with that feeling of “here is a space where I can come and just unravel in my own time, in my own process, in my own Idontknowhowto”. NOTHING can happen in the therapeutic journey before safety is not established. This in itself can and should be a journey by itself as you need to find out what safety means to you and what safe presence mean to you.
Gabor Mate puts it so beautifully that no therapist can guide any client further into their own process as where they have been with their own trauma. Which means that you need to firstly as therapist feels safe within your own story and own it – all of it. Own your own story and not take over your client’s.
How safe do you feel within your own skin/within your own story/within all the different parts of yourself? Are their parts of your story which own you or have you worked through them/sat with them so that you could move through them and learn from them, be comfortable with them without shame, and own them? Or do you want to help others because the void in yourself is still so big as you have not put all your parts together yet?
If we going to be therapists/counsellors who want to fix everyone else and in the process claim their journey for us, then we do not let them feel the power of claiming their own journey, taking the responsibility to heal and moving forward in their lives with a healthy toolkit to be powerful human beings without shame.
First step – find yourself the person who is safe with themselves and in whose presence you know and can immediately feel – they are not scared of my cracks as they are not scared of their own. They are not scared of mess which means here I can start to relax and not mind that my mess is going to start leaking. I do not have to try and hold it all together anymore. That is when you know that this will be YOUR JOURNEY and not theirs and they own their own.